Whatever your take on February 14th, it is a day that gets people talking and thinking about relationships. We looked at some forward-thinking initiatives that encourage South Africans to build healthy partnerships that outlast the fleeting pleasures of Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is many different things to different people. Some are hopeful that it will provide an opportunity for new romance, or an occasion to celebrate their love for their partner. Others think it is nothing more than a cynical attempt by big business to market love as something that can be bought.

Relationships

Whatever one’s take on February 14th, it is a day that gets people talking and thinking about relationships. In a country which is as plagued by gender-based violence as South Africa, this is surely a positive thing. The state of gender relations in South Africa is frequently a source of great shame. One much-quoted statistic is that 30% of South African men have been violent towards their partner. This is clearly bad news, but a number of campaigns are reaching out to the 70% majority who have never been violent.

Building on the Positives

The Brothers for Life campaign, an initiative of the Sonke Gender Justice Network, together with Johns Hopkins Health and Education in South Africa (JHHESA), the Department of Health and the South African National Aids Council, takes an original approach to addressing the gender norms, roles and relations underlying the HIV pandemic.

“If you focus on the negative, you create a sense that what is wrong is normal, and that can make people feel fatalistic,” says Richard Delate of JHHESA. “The Brothers for Life approach wants to engage those who are already positive examples and turn them into role models.”

Part of the power of the campaign is that it taps into positive attitudes that are shared by the majority of people in the country. Rather than highlighting negative behaviour as a source of national embarrassment, it seeks to highlight positive behaviour as a marker of solidarity and pride.

Choices

A number of other organisations are doing similar work throughout South Africa, aiming to show men how their choices can help or harm their health, the health of their families, communities and country. Men As Partners (MAP) was started by EngenderHealth in 1996 in recognition of the importance of reaching out to men with the services and education that will enable them to share the responsibility for reproductive health with their partners. MAP programmes have proved highly popular and are currently implemented in 15 countries throughout the world.

Lasting partnerships

Long after the Valentine’s Day celebrations are over, all the chocolates eaten and the flowers wilted, we still face the challenge of ultimately overcoming the inequality and – all too often – the violence that characterises so many South African relationships. Brothers for Life and Men As Partners emphasise changes in attitude that will build partnerships that outlast the fleeting pleasures of Valentine’s Day.

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